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new year ... Outstanding Film and Anime

time, I did not leave I did not take ... and now (3 am) I'm lying ready to sleep ..
Me depressive re the fact that even greeted my friends for new year .. not to mention the fact that I could not celebrate with them.
I would say "I stayed at home" but that phrase sounds like I chose to stay.
I had to stay home. That sounds more real.
was a year-end tranqui ..
I'm happy for what I do and as I live.
Rather than go on holiday I want to start the facu. I realize that is mostly because of back my life, to have some freedom. It sucks
this can not do what you want .. Simply
days I would like to suppress only do is they put me wrong. Same

mostly my fault ... isolate this thing not to receive invitations for me to have bad is stupid.
I will resume my Face, pick up my contacts, meet friends, chat and talk with my friends.
The psychologist is right: if the idea is to have an insertion into society gradually ... I have to start first.
I fought a lot to let me have visitors and when I did ... not invited to anyone .. hahaha .. I have to put the batteries .. because it makes me good. Today

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Each year that passes we can-and should-take stock of what we have done and what we do, in order to consider whether our course in life is the best or, conversely, we can improve it.

This year just ending, on the various entries have addressed issues that, in my view, are important for understanding the challenges that life offers us, but also to appreciate the gifts she -no-request them gives us.

In a brief mental over thirty entries posted on this humble blog, I remember writing about sin and disease, but more about virtues and cures; on mazes , but more on wireless gold lead us to the exit, on defects and problems, but more on strengths and solutions lie, death and despair, but more about truth, life and hope ; over hatred and demons, but more about love and angels, gods, saints and myths, but more on men, wise and realities of those moments of madness that makes us cherish the happiness, but also on those of sanity that we remember our earthly chains, on time and values, ideas and words , mathematics and poetry, on lark and sunrises, goldfinches and hope, nightingales, love and spring.

Anyway, my humble analysis tells me that the course is good, though, as everything can be improved and, for the year is soon to be born, I look forward with joy to have as many readers as this one give me encouragement and good wishes to exchange a few words.

I want to thank each one of those tasty read my posts, to which they were encouraged to send a comment, which was written and sent and not to do it and I thought presented with a smile, to which I opened the doors of your home and I kept a place in his heart the advice given to me, to which I laid a hand on which I made a critical and I got a pat on the shoulder.

As an apprentice writer, I tried to express what I feel and what I am, without masks or masks. Every day I'm realizing that words have a subtle and at the same time, profound beauty and they contain within them a meaning that goes beyond what the dictionary says. I confess that when CIENTEC Foundation asked me to take care of this digital diary thought would be short, that the topics are exhausted or lose interest. How wrong I was! As have passed almost four years I have raised some goals and I thought that if a thousand people read what I write because none of them thought-provoking, I bit, but if my words move the feelings of one person for a moment the mission is accomplished.

Thank you, thank you.

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instead of running I saw the 1st and the 2nd movie the Godfather ... (The third is left for tomorrow .. heh) was one of the movies that had to do before I die ...

I still have the Star Wars saga, the final season of Lost, Van Helsing (I have to get off me), CowBoyBeepop (my bro has it), Scar Face, the Alien, finished watching Band of Brother, do a Full Metal Alchemist with the Evangelion ova and ova (again ).... Rambo would also have to see it ... like the Rocky .. but do not call me .. Alice in Wonderland (Although my brother and told me I was dreaming .... MALA ONDA!)

A film that I never tire of seeing: Back to the future ... I re hooked! A film I
is very interesting: Pan's Labyrinth.

anime I have to look pretty ..
may end up doing cartoons ... haha .. laburito how nice it would be ... :-D
O. .. but I'm thinking of a comic ... haha ... would be very bizarre ... ñ, ñ
Who says? What more are

"You should see?

Brain Diseases More Condition_symptoms

Today I asked "You come for admission?

One of the doctors in there, when asked if he was my psychologist to confirm the shift of the week .. I asked "You came for admission?" ¬ ¬

Okay I have eaten many chocolate chip cookies (horoscope and Chocolinas ^ - ^) and grains ... me out oh, and you have a GIANT in the bulb ... :-( Sooo expensive drug addict but I have not!
or at least ... something I did .... lol ... bad ondaaaa

Doctor ¬ ¬


Admission is the first step of treatment, where you look with all-psychiatrists, psychologists, toxicologists, they talk to you and take an assessment where they see if you lack of medication, they send you surveys, etc ... Normally
for admission to see the facts you see a skeleton, super nervous, on tour and fall asleep standing up, with Great-great haha-sometimes by scandal because they refuse and are bound by family, sucking face re destroyed, sometimes you see that flashed ..

OSEA => I look like someone who is about to be admitted? Q "I hope not ... DOCTOR
Jeers! > \u0026lt; JAJA

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Al PSIQUIATRAAAAA

I went to a psychiatrist ...
do not know if it was worth the suffering of come and go ...

The trip was like always .. except for the 40 degree wind chill!
(my poor brother who is working all day in the sun pedaling! Uu ... and still do not understand people who run day! I run at night!) .. I suffered
I had .. I hate the heat ... and that reminds me when we traveled everywhere in the car .. Air .. with my ex ... and when I remember him ... Give me standing on the train ride with the sun roasts me!

I have no idea how many degrees made ..
I saw 2 of the psychiatrists .. I walked in, told him how I liked Christmas taking fruit juice with bunny face, which had seized me want to take a stout that I passed 10 times against the face saying "uhmmm! is very good!" "Freeze up!">: - / Unless my brother told me the endurance ... "Is not so good ..." (with a disgusted xq a teetotaler; - a groso jaja ..) Let me RE
CONTROL! were happy for me, so I was told to continue and gave me an appointment for January.
in 10 minutes was infectious to make an appointment for factors of medicine for me to make the study of CD4 and viral load.

On alcohol .. I was afraid the truth ...
The last time my ex gave me medication in the wine (I did not know) I had grabbed an attack, I was angry with him as usual, but instead of doing nothing and pretend that everything was fine .. I could not control, I locked myself in the bathroom and wanted to break everything. I broke a mirror .. and kick everything I could ... When I calmed down and told me we managed ... "How you were not taking? (Cocaine) with all the pills that put you in the wine and would have to be sleeping" and I realized there ... alcohol with psychoactive drugs that I take ... I get aggressive.
It's fine not know how many pills you put ... but anyway ...

is insane ... because you always see new people in what would be the waiting room of Toxicology ... and so far only one person from all I saw, I see that keep going .. okay I'm just going 2 times a week ...

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spent Christmas Eve ... He spent Christmas ... Live

This Christmas was ideal .... Family ...
did not go out .. I got high .. not drink alcohol ... I took the medication ... Do not freak out ...
I saw my friends ... nor even said hello ..

was PERFECT ..
would make sense to complain? I enjoyed it as much as I could.
Making me smile to myself.
I told those people who wanted and even tried to do justice .... but went backwards.
I confessed ... q I knew I had to confess before Christmas ....
but although it is also innesesario .. sometimes comforting.

"there is nothing more beautiful than the family together"

Last year I came before providing re stoned, I kept getting high and two in the morning I went with a bun to keep using, then one after of coastal ... do not miss it.

-you realize your just getting it to the test control ..-
HAVE CONTROL OF MY LIFE.

If I'm in this because I want it, if you stand is because I decided to take it, if corn is because I see it necessary and if cry is to try to hear me.

When that binds me is no more, I'll fly for me. Whenever
fly. I will.
whichever comes first.

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remember well this is life!

who say they saw before he died ... one sees passing before his eyes toooda your life ...

What if you are already dying, and this what we call living is just a memory?
and if so whatever we do is something we have done and would not be able to change it, I mean, even "decide" appear to "decide" is porq only a memory.

When I cut the veins was hoping to live that memory to relive all those happy times we had ... and I only met with malaise, fatigue, did not feel my legs and knew I had to go through such pains to get to die and now .. but when I realized that my wounds closed faster and faster (since I reopened the wound every time I was the soft "peel") was afraid to sleep and waking in a hospital ... Path and walk ... I had no idea where I was and I ran into him .... Pirovano

So ... I realized that from now I just want to live my life .. but enjoy the mango ... because when you touch me die if I will not be able to revive her in a second ... or just become aware of some things that I overlooked ...

If it's just a memory ... I feel so alive ... is worthy of enjoying. And if I moriera
now, I'm so happy with what I've done, and sorry for so many other things ... without fault. I was always
. At the end ... was what I lived ... and accepted. (Do not know how to explain

....) I would understand the phrase "I'm in Peace"

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YULE: Winter Solstice.

Night falls deep into the universe
The stars shine and the animals sleep. As Mother

covers us with its white mantle of snow and ice,
our dreams
travel the cosmos looking for a place reborn. Rest today

trees
their heavy branches that are now deserted and desires of love green ...

But deep in the souls and bodies
still shone the Great Llama
And on this winter night
our Mother sings to us, illuminating the life
, burning emotions.

Earth "Light up our steps?
we listen to your voice into a stupor?

Close your eyes and listen to Mother ...
She's still there, the sound of the wind
beating in the trees, shining in the sky. Listen to the sad
creaking of the earth shaking with the cold

because

still alive ... Today we imitate our sister
land and take refuge in the warmth of our hearts grow and hatch
where
as does the seed hidden in Mother's womb.

and winter darkness invade us, but our brilliance is stronger.
The cold does not hold the man and the storms never hold us back.
We are free to our steps and our decisions.
learn at this time to be wise and correct to find the right path.

Now the snow covers the trail will cross someday ...
But it is there waiting for is the right time to be displayed. Cae

winter, and prepare for the dedication and improvement. Let our sister
earth hear us and grant us wisdom to grow in our break, to find the knowledge that allows us to be reborn.

Thus, y así debe ser.

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seized me

I made my first CD4 and viral load!

I got it in the hospital, and taking advantage of the fast I went to get tested at medical school (and I participated in a survey I did in infectious diseases).
I poked 2 times the same vein! Auch
¬ ¬ So I'm looking forward to the results! ^ ^

Today I increased the dose ... uu

I told psychiatrists that had haunted me so having to miss doses ... and I rose to a whole pill at night .. ¬ ¬
I told them I did not see it necessary because it is something that always happens to me and that was (in my opinion) given by the discontinuity of medication .. . But they told me to "prove" that we are next week. ¬ ¬

>> Whenever I increased the medication I was told it was a matter of "proving" that if I felt stupid or doped, we lowered the dose .... I told the pharmacist when taking 100 mg a day told me it was "a lot" now I get to the 350mg per day (with the new growth), I have to think?? I am a beast overactive and therefore I'm not stupid ... or as I have so fucking brain and my body has given??
No idea, but until they chase me .... I tabletting. :-P haha \u200b\u200b... but in a good sentidooooo cheeee!


I made the antidopping!!

I turn with the toxicologist (2 months ago and not seen), I took the pressure, I listened to the lungs, he said that when "I wet the lips with any alcoholic beverage" to provide as The psychiatrist told me at parties do Cider ... ¬ ¬ haha.
I asked about the HIV, and showed him the results and analysis that sent me to the understanding of infection and told me that those were enough ... ^ - ^
doing everything I asked did not use ... I said "ALMOST FOUR MONTHS AGO!!:-D:-D"

and sent me to do .... antidopping

gave me the recipe, I went to the bathroom with my Mamucha, I did that I revise (because she says she trusts me. But I prefer to be fixed so there is no doubt ...) and carry the Pichin the laboratory. OOOOBVIO
going to be okay.

I had just

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The ladder at the window

dawn. It was upsetting because they had stopped a truck in front of our house. I wondered if he knew any of them and listening to my police were supposed to be negative .. The watch from the window as she told me that he looked familiar, friends of friends ..
The men wore overalls, had a toolbox and a ladder. While talking they came to our door but did not touch, knock on the door nearby.
not reached them and began to see even more upset .. he convinced me we had discovered, but that the evidence would need to install some cameras, so we could not climb to the terrace. We stayed in an attempt to silence the voices or at least have an idea of \u200b\u200bwhere they were.
I started asking questions, if he had become a taxi to the house, if I had followed, if she noticed that someone special too much about it I wondered if someone had spoken to people who knew of what we did, if someone knew exactly where he lived .. etc. ..
I told him what he wanted to hear ... if there something had been told to my sister ... which I would not denounce OBVIOUS, but he would never understand ... and the address he had given to my parents ... in which there was no danger .... What if ... you had told a chabón walking in the same as us ... maybe the cane is chabón? Nah ... I was struck
had started to tell me to tell you the truth ... as if he knew he was lying ... and if he knew? And if the other was a friend of him and was to prove my loyalty to him??
He told me that if I wanted go me go, it would be OK to return in a couple of days ... or we begin to see outside. That he loved to live with me, but WHAT DO I WANT. I did not want to go anywhere, I caucus if something was bad luck, but I was not going to stop lying.
suddenly began shouting followed him into the living room and the window overlooking the street that I had placed a ladder. Puteaba all and started kicking the doors, shouting that he would not admit that before going to the ground with sticks, kept spinning.
I was stunned, were trying to understand ... to enter? Why? Who were they? Knew? I asked but I was so elated that I do not answer, was all swollen neck veins, head butts to beat him all he could, talking to himself, as planning or explaining ... I was scared. Told me to stand still, they were already coming in, they were on the roof, but leave him alone ... He went to the room.
I came to find? I was waiting for my punishment? I knew we were watching. What he should do or say to keep out or for leaving if already in? I sat
on the couch and smoked incessantly. All you could hear were whispers coming from everywhere. He could see shadows of people entering the room. Neither wanted to give back. I was so scared ..
took some courage and got up off the couch, looked out the door and there was no one he knew he had made enough noise to have time to hide but I had so much courage to find out where they were. I went to the room was the door locked, knock and waited, in conversation with someone, do not understand what he said until he cried "Come!" I opened the door and was dark the window is fully closed. I closed the door and he approached me. I had the horrible feeling that we were not alone, but I would not put to check.
I took a cigarette and started smoking it, I said I wanted, I said I did not know that it was prepared to do whatever he better suited for both ...
Me looked with tearful eyes and handed me a crumpled piece of paper. In its most pronounced Folds read "see ya". I looked at him and said, "we?" "Where?" She asked. "No ... anywhere, for a ride "I did not like being there ... I said he could not leave the house alone, was angry saying if that was what I wanted, leave the way open. When I make her understand that she loved him and would never want something happen to him .. subsided. I still felt observed ... I knew we were not alone in the room and every time he looked away I realized that he knew who he was .. but I dared to ask .. I was consoled by the phrase that always told me: "While you're with me not going to happen. I will not let anything happen to you."
We went to bed, I was staring at the ceiling for more than two hours uneasy about the noise added to the fear that they are waiting for us to sleep ... until I fell asleep.

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What happened?? Yes, I chased. Effects of drugs such

This afternoon I re-chased ... Uu

Last night, as it was "7" I went with my parents to greet Liniers San Cayetano. I did not take the medication in the afternoon and at night I took half.
As I have only 30 pills, take 1 divided by day and the medication they give me every month, talking with psychiatrists agree that I will to skip some pills to make year-end, which is sure to be criticized for wanting to leave ...
I slept well and took the morning, but ... not if it was because the post I wrote ... (I do not think) I started to chase evil. :-( the reflections that the window, door knocks, inside the closet, between the blind ... that ugly .. I handle it .. I do not get loud or anything lol ... , but it bothers me.
Last night I saw Constantine, a movie barbarian! re-liked me, and my brother was blaming the movie ... but he explained that nothing to do ... for example:
Reflections:

It's like if I call too much attention. I was washing dishes in the kitchen alone and I was struck by the spout such that reflected me, and all that was behind my warped .. I knew I was alone, until I turned to say so (that's what I felt more anger! Wanting to turn around!), but just saw in the mirror as silhouettes of people moving ... ¬ ¬ until rinsed metal slotted spoon, I was struck by the reflection ... and wanted to see what was behind me using it! BASTAAAA!
while ago that I spent ... Uu
Anyway, I went running and I am pursuing now lol, it's crazy, for more than three months and consumes no chase me as being 2 days on tour. ..

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.. I am a carrier of HIV

I started treatment in toxicology. In no time he saw something wrong with me, were at most drug product .. But after weeks appeared to be without consuming ..
had physical and psychological effects, problems in attitude and thoughts .. It was a great change, to start living in a natural way, with different times and feelings that I had forgotten. Able to look back and say: How do I make / support / think so? I opened my eyes.

While initially my idea to stop doing drugs, was mostly generated by the pain I caused my family. I was fine. I knew that if he could stop doing drugs without problems, desire was to have but a matter of Desicion ... and so, though .. (It is difficult to explain) I saw all the precautions that were taken as innesesarias was an outpatient, had appointments with the psychologist, a group of psychiatrists and toxicology every week.
From living in the center back to my neighborhood. Was always accompanied and I had cut off communication with all those who were not my family, I mean, my tour mates and friends in the neighborhood. Or would not buy one. I was medicated with psychotropic drugs to put me stable. One morning and one at night.

12am to sleeping times and the days seemed very long, I was always upset, worried, ate a lot, I always felt attacked ... but it's frame.
The first day I had wanted to vacuuming cafiaspirins .. not because of the effect, but the fact of "sniffing" and I realized I was in trouble .. Gone are the days and quit smoking. At home no smoke or drink or anything. So it was pretty easy. I started drawing
(my passion) and always listened to music ... each trice again that thought the songs were for me ... They talked about me, my mistakes, I had to do ...
At night I always felt that someone was there .. behind the window or (I sleep in a sailor top) lying on the bottom bunk at the door .. While it could be my old with the best intentions in the world .. I was terrified. Until one night I felt like I blew the legs (as I did when I got high and wanted to sleep) but I had the courage to see ... banque me with hatred and accused him raise a family that my brother was safe ... My brother refused, but I was sure it had been! but who? .. To top it had ugly dreams ... in which yelling and scared me. I was always the question of whether serious screaming.
I increased the medication in the evening .. I sleep better, I woke up at midnight, not chasing me and fall asleep faster. To an Internet
which meant "psychotropic" I learned that one of the symptoms were the feeling persecuted, feeling that people know about them and feel like "snakes that climb up the legs."
-Chau! - I said - I have the brain made shit!

However in the afternoon I felt a little scary but controlled, sometimes seen in the tunnel (near the close and everything else far away) or any bright, watching me by others, who called me when not, the songs and when I talked to someone was waiting to say something special because we were hearing was yq me realize certain things .... not ... looked around there was something wrong ... but when I realized that was chasing me think of something else ... it was a lie and more or less or controlled.
I increased the medication over another in the afternoon.
now rarely pursue me, I am stable, I feel weird and I like to live like this! I'm not doped or anything, I can put my attention on what I want (I still read it costs a bit) without being distracted, I remember things that had apparently forgotten when I did drugs, my conversation and my speaking has improved, no I'm both branches, I learned to listen, I have more patience (that if it cost me ... haha) I can listen to music without me problem with the letter! I listen and enjoy ... When I see pictures now I think are all double, or remind me such a person. I have a life plan and wants to live more peaceful
, VIVO ... Ohau!

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Before my ex with whom I joined, had had enough chabón boyfriend a womanizer and had questions I did a test for HIV, I did not, all good things in order ..
When I joined, I was careful, until after so swell (stupid me) and swearing by the child that had NOTHING, from time to time up before leaving to take care of me always tugging "you you have HIV, I can tell by your face / legs / etc "I did not give ball .... After a while I decided to stop caring for him. I still remember when I first told he had HIV, had been in the bathtub, he had was drying out and I was lying .. We had re stoned as usual and we had fallen, the idea was to eat and follow the tour.
He said he had HIV, which had been treated but had "cured "I was a super exceptional case ... I was scared. I kept thinking," I caught, I have HIV, I can infect, I have to care, I have HIV ". He told me he was friends with HIV he fed them when they were with serum, which was infected with a large mine asshole, etc, I was sitting in the bathtub with water.
thought, "Well, that's it. I have HIV, I HAVE HIV ..." I was angry with him, what could I say? I loved him ... I imagine the face that must have been me, haha, until he said: "Nah," Are you the believe it?? Mentiraaa, I have HIV! Hahahaha! " He laughed, he used to do such things, made me believe something and then told me that was a lie. I smiled, I was still in shock .. haha .. but it happened, I swore it was a joke and I believed him.
When he was angry that he grabbed the handle or jealousy in those moments that would turn the house to break all the screams, and denigrating puteándome always shouted: "Do not you see that I have HIV?? Yeah, I have AIDS! " He always said that drug to him was "self destruct" ... and that it was acceptable for this type of behavior ....
Anyway, after I denied it or not talked about the issue .... He apologized and everything was fine .. Speaking with the former every two of three HIV test was done telling me that I had, I even showed a couple of tests had been negative ....

When I went to the complaint by violence, with my old I went to record all the bruises and wounds in the hospital, in case we quilombo ... When I attended asked about the HIV test because he had doubts ... "Whenever I had asked for the test to be coupled with my ex in the guards told me I had to take turns with the clinician and only then ask ... Conclusion: I did-
I just attended a preventive medical girls, I gave the order and they told me everything after me some questions ...

1, Elisa: Positive
I went with my mom made me go ... I had the idea that if I had ... I attended a doctor and head of industry, of which I spoke, I asked, said they were treated etc, etc. So I attacked the anxiety. "And then?"
was rare, although supposedly he was "ready" when I said yes, that just had to confirm it, and then oootro had to do analysis; The corners of his mouth I went down, watery eyes, trembling, afraid to pass out ... I imagine my poor old woman was beside me.
When I stopped my legs were shaking. Ohau, that shock.
At home he was afraid of "scary", was it clear how it is spread, but I did something that a person who knew he had HIV (I had told my brothers) have rejected ... I do not know ...

2 ° Elisa: Positive
I went with my mom made me go ... was with the idea that going to be positive, my mom encouraged me that there was not, but I had the idea that I had HIV ... Again
same, sad? I do not know, but like the first time ... Maybe not as strong, but as it was. I was told that the WB took a month and then going to do the analysis of viral loads and defenses ...

WESTERN BLOT: 30/09/2010 POSITIVE
again with my old, poor saw his eyes watery, but I banque better. At first I was desperate because I analyze and see if my defenses were down to start treatment NOW ... but I realized that if I spent the whole time I was with my ex, who were months without attention, as they had been living with the virus (and still do) and like I had to relax, take care of others, worry but me no problem ... I realized that I had more made. The doctor reassured me and my mom telling me that I was more likely to die from a group that HIV, which is a chronic disease but that could get along with commitment and responsibility.

Talking with the doctor of preventive medicine, I decided it would be better than follow this topic in the same hospital in which I am following the treatment of poison, more than anything to not go from one hospital to another. He said he had worked there and the doctors are excellent in that he is, but it had more coverage in terms
machinery and other things.
My toxicologist gave me the first order, I did it again the 2 Elisa and WB, and I saw one in infectious diseases. It is a love, I checked and told me that my defenses were good, I gave orders for CD4 and viral load me, I took a few questions and when we finished. He said: "It's good that you've done the analysis you have now and not expected to suffer from AIDS. (I remember the hug he gave me) you'll be alright" "yeahhhh, already" I replied.

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Intro ...

Since August 20, 2010 that do not use ... NADA , or joint, or cocaine, or alcohol. Jaja to quit smoking!:-D
every week I'm going to a psychologist, psychiatrist every 15 days, which I toxicologist drugs and long ago I have not seen, at first saw her often, as the reviews made me do (urine and complete studies ..) but now I have new turn in 2 weeks ..

The fact that I attended from the beginning right there, in the Department of Toxicology Center Hospital. Before when it was coupled (a crazy 20 years coupled with a worse than 36, with a son and his ex) ate like a beast and I cut my veins. Pirovano and ended up in my old one of my sisters went to look. I started treatment, but when I came back with my ex, I was hard and have it taken in front of me .... Preferred to continue with use, to be right.


In one of its handles after spending all night with type 8 am, as happened every time ran out, began to break everything and to revile. As usual I was not saying or doing anything, because he knew he was going to happen and I do not going to do anything ... but that was not exactly what I said ... not ... reacted. I said enough! I stood on the bed and started screaming stop saying that shit to stop treating me well. (I once grabbed by the hair and pulled me out of the room, but calm down and I went after it happened and nothing happened, in all) He was crazy (more than before) told me to calm down it would be worse, but I kept telling him not to yell at me to stop. He had been tightened around the neck and grabbed me by the hair. I began to defend myself safarme was and when I release I started to hit me, I fought kicking and slapping, but did not stop until I pushed him and began to mourn asking for forgiveness.
embraced him, and he also hugged me. I wondered what that made me so, that he knew I was not so ...
was the first time he beat me ...
not as it was but I went to the room where my clothes, I wanted to go. He came and started discussing again. Like me I had no quiet as before, leaving me and letting basuree be all my fault ..
was angry, I did not stop to mourn, and put my clothes in a bag Yean. But not as it was started beating me again, then threw him with everything he had at hand, a drawer with photos, a box of bullshit, papers, magazines, but he kept hitting me, hitting me like I pineapples , was a man! I tried to pull you off balance and defense, and as we fell sick until I had him I bit the leg to let me, I was desperate and did not know what he was capable. He calmed down and wanted me not to go, to order everything and that tomorrow would be OK I was going to forgive.
Even in a moment he leaned against a chest, with your arms hanging his head looking down and he told me. "Kill me! Want it? I do not do anything, kill me!" I swear that at that moment entered my head to grab a piece of broken glass that was on the floor, I had so much anger, I was so covered, I hated him so much, but ... I told myself "No, no, no, no, no" I had that moment of clarity ... (Now I understand those women who supported and support until they explode, they did not have that moment of clarity.) and I went to where the closet. I was gathering my clothes while still crying.
discussed again he was telling the super cries taken all that he had not told in 10 months we lived together. I loved him but could not be more with him and many things that made me mourn even more, that's when I pushed her against a shelf and I cut back (nothing serious, somewhat superficial) I have the scars well marked yet . He had made up my mind: I left. I was crying but me.
Without any silver and two bags of clothes, went to a public telephone booth .. asked 25 cents crying and called my house. I attended my mother, I do not remember if I was crying, banque worse, but my mom reassured me. I walked to the subway station, the Incas and waited.
It is charged by passing old ladies and retired because I was asked "Are you okay?" haha ... I had not yet seen either face, but I realized too well that was not ...
my brothers came and took me to the house.

If it were not for the fact that when I cut my veins they (my family) made me understand they wanted to be good, especially when my mom told me with tears "as you're going to kill" and then I do? "I had not gone, and now would probably only him or doing drugs and a life not good, since I had washed both his head, making them believe that one was bad, they were better without me, me felt so guilty ...

Anyway. I'm fine! ^ - ^ Thanks to my family, the Family Violence psychologist at the station I saw the woman (she was the one who did not want to go back with him because he was so boluda would have been able to forgive and return), and the entire Toxicology grupete treatment.

CAN LIVE!
Hahaha ... and enough of these songs I put too much "in touch with my feelings" (for now)

Seating Chart Example

After Shower

"Flash" as I sorted them, "enlightenment" my old ... you?

After the shower.
When least expected, there was I, realizing that he was in hell .. (Or going to him) in a kind of transition which had to wake up. Hardly remember the last time I saw the sun, stars, or at least felt a breeze. How had I wanted to come out? I had to return or at least get out. That
he previously saw as "angel" simply was just the one to make that back and that had appeared at the right time. I was just doing his job, could not appeal to him and that his entire speech was based on lies.
With eyes wide open sitting on the toilet seat with elbows on knees, still stuck in a steam bath, listening to soft tunes that warned me what happened ... I did not know how to act, had to get away from that toxic environment that made me suffer. remembered when he laughed until it hurt or until tears came out. Where was gone all those that made me smile? Suddenly I saw
. A bottle of red wine half-empty look at me from the edge of the tub, I could not peel my eyes off her ... I recognized myself in her reflection. I was far away, lying on a bed and covered eyes above. Around me my mother took my hand and say something. Spent a few seconds until I realized that it was those words that were heard on the radio, I began to listen more carefully without opening the hearing on the bottle and often he understood what the songs say to me, seeing as others came to me: My father and brothers. They realized that reacted!
It filled my eyes with tears, a sob came out and closed my throat as I could. Basta. It could not be possible. How he was getting my madness ..? But .. What if it was? What was it that I had to do to regain the life that was mine?
I got up to wash my face, I opened the tap and pour me some water, tried to relax, to think clearly, could not remember what had happened, I was so lost, even recognized my hands were so different ... My reflection on tap caught my attention, looked around the bathroom behind me.
There was I, with eyes to explode, sandblasted face, pale and dark circles. I saw them but I could not turn around ... I embraced. They gave me strength to continue, were there me and I had not noticed, I was never left alone.

Serotonin Syndrome More Condition_symptoms

DECEMBER DAY 1 INTERNATIONAL FIGHT AIDS

DECEMBER 1

INTERNATIONAL DAY OF THE FIGHT AGAINST AIDS

When I was looking the picture of picking and Hardy chabon with many arms (he had seen long ago) I saw this image super sorry. uu

"I HAVE AIDS, Please hug me, I can not make you sick"

"I HAVE AIDS, please hug me, do not I can catch "

My sister told me that when she was pregnant, had other pregnant women who would not give them permission to do the HIV test .. Out of fear? For shame? = FLOWER asshole!

BEING PREGNANT AND KNOWING THAT YOU CAN DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILD HIV

HOW YOU WILL NOT DO THE TEST?!

SOS CARRIER IF Y. .. HIV and not know???

GOING TO RUN THE RISK THAT YOU HAVE YOUR BABY??

Oh, I wear locaaa!

Finally, BOLUDOS TAKE CARE! HIV does not discriminate ! Listen

"AIDS" El Otro Yo

and BEWARE THE PITO!!

Vertigo Statistics Geographical

Life consists of moments , simply too many instances of different sizes and intensities, not good or bad, better or worse, everything that happens in them is what is shaping our own collection of memories and experiences and help us build that personal touch.

One evening, a look, the smell of rain, a smile, a caress, a meteor shower, an illusion, sea foam, a fragrance, a silence, a path, a kiss, a promise. The Continuous Life leaves us spaces, large and briefly some others, we must fill as the water drops an ocean, with no gaps, no repeats. To us to the wonderful moments far outweigh those who would like to erase from our memory.

Cocorí ─ In one of my favorite books ─ remember when this endearing character gave him a rose and it dies after that disappointment he strives to get an answer to the question why Rosa lived so did my bit and other tire instead of having moons? After many adventures in the jungle wise response that gives the Black Rose Cantor is that light was in life, generosity and love others even if they live more, have not been: it is more important to live a full life than a long life and meaningless. Thus appropriates a profound lesson and, happily, the same Cocorí yells to the world that useful Every minute is worth more than a year useless!

And you can live a lot in a short time. Appreciate the beauty and importance of some moments that are happening in life ─ sometimes by chance and others by ─ causation is one of those qualities which we refined with age. This sensitivity is magnified even more when we have gone through extreme situations that we face our own fears, those that make us meditate on the momentous issues of life and force us to appreciate as much, at that moment there is a 180 degrees our existence and some important things that we cease to be, and they were not, become vital. There is no doubt that early spring is best enjoyed when we lived a harsh winter. The smile of a baby is valued more when we realize how fragile life is. The need to share love is evident when we received it in abundance. The value of a sincere friendship be understood when we have tended a hand in difficult times. The beauty of a sunset is more apparent when we shared with a loved one. The strength of a word is enhanced when trying to write a poem.

In those moments of lucidity where reason does not cloud the wisdom and sanity, we take many of the difficult decisions of our existence, yet it is in these moments of madness where overflows ─ passion ─ we took some important decisions in our lives, those that mark until death and with which we overcome our fears, we achieve the freedom and, for some moments, cherish the happiness. Enjoy with intensity every moment that gives us life, which, ultimately, be the best way to thank them.

An instant d'amour est un instant de Vie.
the beautiful melody Et qu 'a ange passe Ishtar

Moments , poem attributed to Jorge Luis Borges

E Coli More Condition_symptoms Wiki

I hope you had a Blessed Samhain
I wish all Love and Blessings for the Ancestors

In meadows that the scythe has tasted
Now the Samhain fires are high
The circle dance is weaving, spinning
On graceful foot, on darkened thigh,
The spiral dance is downward twisted,
The Horned One's chant, the Welcome Home--
"Home" is on the north wind whispered,
The Swordless Death Lord takes his throne.
And to Mab, the Horned One's sister,
Whose loins have yielded up their spark,
"Follow" now the north wind whispers,
Mab, Death Queen, the Timeless Dark.
And in the barren, fruitless meadow,
Dancing 'round the Samhain fire,
Her face a flower, her eyes a-tremble,
A young maid spins the ancient spire.
Chanting home the swordless Horned One,
Like a doe, she leaps the flame.
In cold Autumn's death, a new beginning,
In Mab's cold womb, life starts again.
Blessed Be.
Free flowing spirit always

Dobry Darmowy Serwer Mysql

Imagine ... HAPPY HALLOWEEN EbnaX

GRACIAS POR HABER EXISTIDO EN ESTE MUNDO, PARA DARNOS EL PLACER DE ESCUCHAR TU MUSICA...


JOHN LENNON
9 0CT 1940 - 8 DIC 1980



Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try

No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of
man Imagine all the people Sharing all the world
...

You may say I'm a dreamer But
I'm not the only one I hope someday
you'll join us And the world
will live as one

Marzetti's Cole Slaw Dressing

This is a story, telling the sprites, in the days of spring when the rains pass giving way to the rainbow ...

They say that the eternal love between two people born Ebnax, the fairy mirror ... their playground was the great forest of myrtle south of the towering volcano of truth. There

grew up with other fairies. Mandates and acted the rules for the other fairies, but he was so multifaceted ...

believed he could be a flower, sun, spring, squirrel, tree, just because at one with the image that they projected onto the surface of your body, your eyes and minds, were convinced that she was all that and much more ... because in every mirror she could feel the light and shadow, love and the lack of it, goodness and evil. It looked

where to look, this duality appeared .....

Year after year, this enthusiasm grew, supported by the reflection of all beings with whom she contacted .......

began to notice that the other fairies were resolved to be, to express its essence I radiate ... but she just radiated a reflection of the other .....

This was his prison ... this was his duality ...

His greatest illusion sustained by it. This contrast with the other brought the big question "Who am I? ... their inability to respond was that he asked him all beings around her Who am I? The answers were obtained, the image of a bird or a sunset or a flower. Tired, stop your search and silence, the pain I felt deep inside, emerged, came from a place not known until then. The pain is said to cry and mourn started ..... Cry for days, weeks, months ...

Her tears turned into a clear lake ...

Ebnax was first on the surface of the lake, which had the quality to reflect to others ... could see and know in time that she was not the lake, because this came from his eyes ... the joy and love that I gave him a spark of consciousness that grew in his heart ... and change his whole face, his skin was dyed blue, since for her, the color of truth, his hair red, the color of passion and green eyes, the color of hope ...... Then
connected with that part of himself that had been transformed, feeling of his heart, which is love ... finally found within, in the place where he lived the truth. Those who are looking to say that hovers, blows and stirs in the mind of every mortal in search of truth ...

Draw maps, leaves clues so that they find the treasure of its existence, nestled in the trunk of his heart where the divine spark installed. It seems that some of these deaths are being installed there ... when this happens is a major transformation. Some have been blue, because in truth they have become, remember that the first track is followed their feelings and that elected office again and again the other way keys art recreated the magic ...

This reaches our ears a spring day when we were ready to hear the mermaids, while the rain would pass that lead to the rainbow ...

Gimena Story Iparraguirre.

Rena Mero Final Victim

In the words

Prior to the formation of the universe the time not even exist, as we discussed in "About the time "from the" Big Bang "the effects are going after the causes and thus be fueling the infinite book of history. From the point of view of Christianity, after this chaos or disorder, "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God" (John 1: 1).

well used words, whether in the arts, science or literature, can be flowers perfume make our horizon or weapons to annihilate our will, you just set against Juan Salvador Gaviota of Bach Mein Kampf Hitler . You can transform into magical words and enchanted keys with which we can break down the walls of ignorance and in the wings to lead us to discover wonderful worlds. In ancient Greece, the cradle of civilization ─ ─ taught Western music (the art of the Muses) within the next main subjects of mathematics, philosophy and astronomy, all requirements for an individual was regarded as an educated person . One of the reasons why they spent hours studying this subject is, in my view, simple: to them the words were "articulate sounds, and related to the ideas and thoughts, speech and finally democracy.

Every word has a formal meaning and a more subjective ─ and therefore more personal ─ depending on what we have learned and internalized. There is no doubt that the meaning of words like freedom, democracy, love, justice, peace or happiness, just to name a few, are perceived differently in the four corners of the world, believers and atheists or between rich and poor . We have more than one hundred words we should globalize.

In previous posts we referred to the importance of studying philosophy, which seeks wisdom itself, and aims to study the knowledge of ultimate causes, universal and totalizing reality, as seeking ultimate human happiness. Today I wanted to refer to freedom, not a single word of eight letters, but rather as a smooth and articulate sound, in its universal meaning, one of the greatest desires that human beings have had to reach a full state happiness. However, it is necessary for background suppression vision ─ ─ petty if you want some people who think that freedom is equivalent to walking without chains on our feet and walk on any trail without looking at the skyline. Of course it is important to physical liberty, but happiness is more important than spiritual. To understand what I mean, I offer a portion of a of dialogues between Zorba and his boss, film Zorba the Greek based on the novel by Nikos Kazantzakis :

─ toast to your health! ─
toast to his, Zorba! ─
Dammit, boss, I do not like too much to say: you have everything except one thing: MADNESS! a man needs a little madness, but ... ─
"But what? ─
... never dare cut the rope and be free ...

The conviction of an entire people, in a given time and space, makes it a necessity becomes a thought and this in an idea, then the final words and actions. Some popular slogans that have marked much of the revolutions in recent history are: "Homeland or death" in search of freedom of the Cuban people, " Liberty, equality, fraternity " of the French Revolution; " Liberty or death "the proclamation of independence of the Greek people to the Ottoman Empire in 1821. These three, among many others, are more than mere sentences because they have a high dose of idealism amalgamated with a dream of freedom suppressed. They are short three-movement symphonies performed by an entire people as an orchestra.

I firmly believe that strengthening our education system and promote complete and quality education, will understand the depth of the words homeland, freedom and independence, and to enjoy between notes and rests of its melody, harmony and rhythm. Not become empty words and, above all, we are aware that each cause an effect happens and the decisions we make today, as a nation, mark our future.

With a clearer conscience will overcome the challenges we face and that threaten us as independent and sovereign nation states ─ as our president in his opinion "The homeland is threatened " ─ and to insert and integrate successfully in a world with a globalized economy without losing our own identity .

Homeland
my country I have always on hand. The
my eyes look much clearer.
The long kiss my lips tame.
I love my country always on hand.
Mansa and small as a pea.
No black rifles. No white sabers. I love sweet
low. I want to tender
high.
I want good for evil.
So sometimes I take her to the field, I tell stories
healthy children, the elderly
sweet, beautiful ranches.
I say that there are countries wide
where there are no metal gods. Where there
cousins \u200b\u200bbrothers only. Jorge Debravo

Portland Oregon Gay Cruise Spots

Irish Blessings fom me to you ... ALBAN

I WISH FOR YOU ...

Comfort on Difficult days, Smiles when to sadness Intruder, Rainbows to follow the clouds, Laughter to kiss your lips, Sunsets to warm your heart Gentle hugs when to spirits sag, Friendships to brighten your Being, Beauty for your eyes to ...see, Confidence for when you doubt, Faith so that you can believe, Courage to know yourself, Patience to accept the truth, And love to complete your life. God Bless you!

Blessings to you from the Earth Mother.

She is the Moon.

She watches over all of us by.

The light that she casts over the blessed earth.

Walk her night lit path

And happiness you will find at every turn.

Blessed be!

Blessings to you from the Sky Father.

He is the Sun. He holds us up

And brings us strength. Carry his sword

To cleave the evil from your path

And you will be unmolested.

Blessed Be!

Blessings to you from the Great Spirit.

It binds us all together:

Man to womyn; beast to beast; all.

We are it and it is us.

Blessed Be!

May you have a wonderful Holiday.

The time has come for the sun to be reborn

He lies in his Mother's womb waiting...

Awaiting his reappearance on this plane.

Let us all rejoice in his rebirth and ours.

Blessed Be!

Wishing you a rainbow
For sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of Irish smiles
For golden happy hours—
Shamrocks at your doorway
For luck and laughter too,
And a host of friends that never ends
Each day your whole life through!

May the blessing of the rain be on you—

the soft sweet rain.

May it fall upon your spirit

so that all the little flowers may spring up,

and shed their sweetness on the air.

May the blessing of the great rains be on you,

may they beat upon your spirit

and wash it fair and clean,

and leave there many a shining pool

where the blue of heaven shines,

and sometimes a star.

You are the peace of all things calm, you are the place to hide from harm, you are the light that shines in dark, you are the heart´s eternal spark, you are the door that´s open wide, ypu are the guest who waits inside, you are the stranger at the door, you are the calling of the poor, you are my Lord and with me from ill, you are the light, the truth, the way, YOU ARE MY SAVIOR THIS VERY DAY

Let your sweet home bright with the starshine and the sad moonlight, and the great sun spread its wonderful rays whenever you fear the darkness and evil...Let the mother earth welcome you in, the meander wind stroke your face, let the water purify your body and your soul while the fire warms you up with its divine power...

Always RemeMbEr to ForGet the ThinGs thAt maDe YoU Sad... But NevER ForgeT to RememBer the thIngS ThaT madE yOU GlaD... AlwaYs RemembEr To ForGet the FrieNds thaT prover Untrue, But Never Forget to Remember THOSE That Have Stuck to You ... ♥ ♥ ♥ Always Remember to Forget The Troubles That Passed Away ...
BuT .. Never Forget to Remember the BLESSINGS THAT COME EACH DAY ......

Adult Tech Deck Games

Elveden

The Festival of Vine Celtic, Thanksgiving Day Pagano.


DATE: September 21 Autumnal Equinox.

modern equivalent of Thanksgiving Day Celtic deities: Mabon (Lord of the harvest / great young), Bran and Branwen.

ALIGNMENT: SOLAR, female, passive, water.

CUSTOMS: Harvest Festival (usually developed on the eve of the yolk moon closest to the Equinox), collect mature products (often turnips or gourds / pumpkins for Samhain), late harvest of corn and sheaves, fishing, vintage grinding with wine and clothing.

SYMBOLS: Clusters of grapes / vines, bunches of ears, a fish, cornucopia, pumpkin dry.

SACRED FOOD: Red wines, game meats (venison, bear, fish, fisan, quail, etc.) squash, melons and other food industry, bread and cakes rich vegetables, stewed (old name: Stew).

incense: Mugwort, myrrh, sage, balm Guilliat, Iris.

TIME THRESHOLD: Twilight.